My mom and my brother hurled words that would make the heavens collapse at each other with such force that the house quaked with bitterness and anger. I couldn't help the anger welling up inside of me myself- for days they hadn't talked to each other, leaving me alone to care for small, helpless Lucy- it wasn't our fault that Father had never returned. So, with adrenaline surging through my nerves, I grabbed Lucy's hand and ran out the door. I ran like I had never run before.
I ran and ran and ran, through the Forbidden Woods, their dark, ghostly arms whipping at my face and the thick, merciless thorns tripping me and ripping my thin khaki pants. I ran until the adrenaline drained out of my blood stream and my weak, screaming thighs no longer supported my weight. I collapsed on the ground, my head spinning, the events of the day choking me with guilt, anger, and confusion. At that moment, I did something that I will never forgive myself for- I cried. In all my seventeen years, through good and bad, pain and joy, crying is the one thing I never allowed myself. But now that the tears started, they didn’t stop. I cried out of pain, exhaustion, and anger. I wouldn’t have ever stopped if Lucy hadn’t put her hand on my shoulder. I looked into her calm, chocolate-brown eyes. Eyes just like dad’s. I knew she was frightened, was wondering why I dragged her out of the house, why I had brought her to the Forbidden Woods at dusk. But she masked her fear and held out a hand to help me up. I pulled myself together. I had to. For Lucy.
I had never been like other girls, prissy and perfect. I had always been different- my dad called me a mischief- loving monkey, my mom a ratty scoundrel. So it wasn’t my first time hiding out in the woods. The night before, it had felt like I had run far enough to be in the heart of the woods- but now I realized I was merely in the border. As I picked up my dirk from its hiding place in the trunk of a willow, I knew that this wasn’t like the other times. I could sense the change in the air, by the way the trees seemed to stay still in anticipation, waiting for my next move. Yes, this time was different. Because this time, I wasn’t going to go back. I walked soundlessly across the woods, my sharp eyes searching for the slightest rustle or movement. I had been too exhausted and dizzy to hunt last night, and both Lucy and I were starving. Snap. I turned and my dirk soundlessly flew out of my hand, ending the life of whatever creature and been careless enough to venture across my path. I know I should be worried, but as I skinned the fat rabbit that I had killed I couldn’t help the new enthusiasm running through my veins. I wasn’t going to take this rabbit home only to have Mother yell at me for not bringing home more- this rabbit was mine- and I was doing this for my survival.
I ran back the moment I felt something was wrong. I knew it was a mistake leaving Lucy behind, but she didn’t have what I called “hunter feet.” So I had armed her with a small knife and told her to scream the moment she smelled danger. The scream didn’t come. But I could sense the change in the air, and I instinctively ran back to our clearing. I was prepared for many things, but what I saw managed to catch me by surprise. Rather who I saw. Years of training kicked in. With the stealth of predator stalking prey, my wrist flexed, releasing the dirk still in my hand. It was too late by the time my mind registered that the person was actually handing a freshly killed deer to my sister. I was famous for my reputation with a blade, and I was aiming for the stranger’s major arteries in the back of his neck. Instant death. “Look ou-!” The words had barely exited my mouth when the stranger instantly turned and gracefully caught the deadly blade slicing through the air. It was balanced perfectly between his experienced fingers.
“Are you alright?” I gasped, relief flooding my face as the young man gazed at me, unharmed.
“Couldn’t be better,” he muttered, “considering I’m not dead.”
I gave a weak smile. Then glared. “What are you doing here anyway?” I demanded. “These are my woods, and you’re on my property!”
“Your woods?” he asked indignantly. “My family’s tribe’s been living here for centuries, and you say this is your property?!”
Suddenly, I felt nervous. “What do you mean, centuries? I’ve never seen you or anyone else, for that matter, around.”
He rolled his eyes exasperatedly, as if explaining an extremely easy math problem to a mentally challenged two-year old. “That’s because you Americans don’t see things that you don’t want to see. Obviously, you don’t want to see that there are people a lot smarter than you are roaming your land without permission. So you don’t see them. Period. And we’re a lot better than you are hiding, too,” he added.
I sighed, surveying the exposed clearing around me. “You’re right,” I admitted reluctantly.
A thought struck me that maybe it was also his striking looks that helped with camouflage. He looked to be about eighteen. His skin was a brownish tan- the color of the underside of fallen leaves, his eyes were a muddy green with streaks of brown- the color of the forest floor, and his hair was a dark brown- like bark. Even his clothes matched- a dirty green t-shirt that looked to be woven out leaves and khaki pants just like mine. Overall, he was the opposite of me. I was visible from a mile away with my silky copper hair that fell in curls to my waist; worn free. Even my eyes were against me with their ocean blue bordered with startling green. I may be the envy of other girls at church, but at the forest my beauty only worked against me.
“So what’s your name?” the boy asked.
“Sirena,” I replied. “And yours?”
“Khyeol.”
“This is my sister, Lucy-” I froze. “Lucy? Where’s Lucy?” My heart was racing. I looked to Khyeol, my eyes questioning. He shook his head, looking just as worried as I was. “Lucy!” I shouted, the fear in my voice obvious. That’s when I heard the scream. The world seemed to cease in its never ending cycle as the unearthly sound pierced the calm of the woods. And it unmistakably belonged to Lucy.
KABOOM! The earth shook, and I dropped to the ground with a shriek. I saw Khyeol do the same beside me, though silently. A bigger quake churned the ground, this time throwing both of us off balance. I lay there, trembling, for a long while, too shocked to think. Khyeol shook my shoulder, and said with incredible calm, “Sirena, you better look, it’s really bad.” I stood up, my eyes squeezed shut. Nothing could possibly get worse, I thought. But it did. As I watched, horror-struck and helpless, I saw the smoke billowing from my house as it was engulfed in flames.
My knees melted like butter. My skull felt like it was splitting open, and my heart raced. I lost Lucy. My home was a pile of smoldering ashes. My mother and brother were gone forever, and my last memory of them was gruesome. My father was who-knows-where, maybe even dead.
It was in that moment that I changed. I took all my memories of my family that were worth having and buried them deep inside of me, where they couldn’t reach me and haunt my dreams. I made a decision. From now on I wouldn’t feel emotions, wouldn’t live in the flow of life. Just on it. Even now, I was only alive because I had to save Lucy. She still had a chance of life, happy, bright, joyful memories that gave her a purpose to live. But I had no motive, was fueled by naught but the ruthless, poisonous, most recent moments of my life. In this manner, I changed. And I ceased to feel. Anger, revenge, joy, pain, grief, excitement, appreciation- all of these no longer had a hold on me. But is that something to value, despise, enjoy or fear? And just like that, all signs of humanity disappeared from my eyes. They were unreadable and empty. I was there, not alive, not dead. Just there.
I turned my back to the scene of destruction. “I’m going to save Lucy,” I said flatly. I walked away, not looking back once at the place I had called home until a few hours ago.
I maybe heartless, but that hadn’t lessened my sense of security. I therefore froze mid-step when I felt something. It was a few minutes after what I had decided to call the “Bombing,” and I was standing at the scene where Lucy had apparently disappeared. I had followed the footsteps from the clearing- she had supposedly wandered away. But then they had simply stopped- there was no sign of a struggle, nothing to hint what had become of Lucy. So here I was, searching the clearing for anything that might hint that something was amiss. And then I felt it. It was a peculiar feeling, as if someone was stroking you with a silken cloak. Except for the fact that there was no person, and no cloak. The answer revealed itself before my very eyes. It was unbelievable; yet I couldn’t deny it. It was a chunk of air, no, space that appeared to shimmer, that almost whispered to you to come to it. But you also got this gut feeling that yelled at you,” run, you brainless idiot.” It sent shivers down my spine. It was out of place, wrong- it wasn’t supposed to be there, yet it was- almost like magic. Dark magic. My mother would say I had an overactive imagination. But why not?
Dark magic was an insufficient word for what happened next. The shimmery chunk of space moved toward me with lighting speed, engulfing me. A skull-splitting pain shot through my body, and the world spun in front of my eyes. The last thing I could remember was Khyeol’s hand being thrown back as he reached out to me before I let out a scream that gave the word scream a second meaning. I blacked out, falling into a churning void of nothingness, hoping more than anything that Lucy was alive and well.
